John decided he wanted a CD today, being his usual helpful self when I asked him which one he had in mind he just said CD. I had a feeling it was going to be a long morning.
There was a ‘well ‘ard’ bloke on the train, I could tell he was ‘well ‘ard’ as he was only wearing a T-shirt and tattoos. John felt the need to shout ‘coat’ at him several times whilst I smiled benignly and hoped not to get beaten up.
First stop was the eye watering charity shop with the strong whiff of bleach. To avoid my lungs being burnt out I wrapped as much of my scarf around my face as possible, which only served to make me look as if I was going to loot the place and pinch all the Domestos.
It must have been bad as John kept saying ‘stink mummy’, I hoped that the other people in the shop didn’t think he was referring to me having a chronic wind problem.
We looked at over 30 CD’s none of which were any good so we moved on to the next charity shop. We had to pass the electrical shop and the miserable man was standing just inside the door. He was still sporting his spaghetti western ‘Gringo’ moustache inspite of it now being December.
I think he was relieved when we didn’t go in…..
Two more charity shops later, each one less smelly than the last, and we had looked at about another 50 CD’s but still no CD,CD.
So on to Morrisons….. told you it was going to be a long morning!
John hates supermarkets as they are too noisy but the urge for the CD, CD was strong and being the hero that he is, he stuck his tongue out, slapped his head and shouted ‘Dogs’…. I have no idea why!!
He eventually found his CD which is ‘NOW That’s What I Call 90’s Dance’
Last stop….. the electrical shop. The miserable man nearly cried.
John marched in, shoved his CD in a very shiny and new Bosch Washing Machine and spun the drum for all it’s worth; as if to say ‘bet you thought we weren’t coming didnt you!’
The miserable man then said ‘I’ve got a wife’ at least I think that’s what he said as the noise from the CD rattling around inside the machine was deafening.
Not knowing how to reply to his statement of status I just said ‘Oh! Good!’ Then I thought ‘Oh God!’ he must think that I fancy him and that I use John’s obsession with Bosch washing machines as an excuse to wander around his shop getting my jollies…..a wave of nausea swept over me.