Regular readers of this blog will remember that a few weeks ago John was obsessing about the ‘S’ boat and the ‘Man’ boat. He still is, and will be until September, which is when his trip to the ‘Eye O man’ is scheduled for. In the intervening weeks and months I expect to have the same conversation with John over and over again.
John…..’Johnelmo ‘S’ boat dog. Man boat way, way, way, way, ba! (using his hand to demonstrate a ship sailing all around the room and back) Eye O Man oyiday. Yesss.’
Me………’Yes John, you will be going to have a look around the ‘S’ boat while it is in the dock, and in September you are going on the Man boat which will sail all the way to the Isle of Man. You will have an hour to look around the Ferry terminal, buy some cake and a drink before sailing all the way back, although I’m not sure it constitutes a holiday exactly’
John……’Eye O Man oyiday, yesssss.’ insisted John.
Me, by the time I have had the same conversation for three months……..’OK whatever’
John ….’Johnelmo ‘S’ boat dog. Man boat way, way,way,way, ba! (still using his hand to demonstrate demonstrate a ship sailing around the room and back) Eye O Man oyiday. Yesss’
Me….Whimpering, keeling over and curling up into a foetal position…’Nurse’
So when I picked John up on Friday afternoon I had the first of many of these ‘S’ and “Man’ boat conversations, followed by a list of all of the toys and objects John would be taking with him on his epic voyage.
My hero Ernest Shackleton was a lightweight compared to John, no wonder he encountered such hardship, when packing to sail to the Antarctic he omitted to include a ‘Tickle Me Elmo and a Buzz Lightyear.’
I made a mental note, should I ever again meet Sir Ranulph Fiennes, I will advise him to never leave home without a ‘Peter Rabbit Mobile and a ‘NOW 54’ cd, assuring him that he would never again be incapacitated by frostbite or crotch rot.
Next week I will reveal how the British SAS were able to infiltrate Osama bin Laden’s secret compound, wearing only an extra large pair of custard yellow underpants!