How Many Sleeps To Christmas?

“THIRTHEE SEEPS” bellowed John as he hurtled passed me on his way to go and hide in the bathroom. He does this every time I pick him up from Nelsons Croft, he always gives himself away though as he finds hiding so funny that his giggles can be heard all over the  house.
His support worker and I just play along with him, our conversation about how John’s week has been is sprinkled with Pantomime shouts of ” Has anyone seen John Ellsmoor ” followed by hysterical laughter, the seasonal sleep count and then John kindly telling us that he is infact in the bathroom.

He had packed all the really noisy talking toys to bring home, an assortment of singing Father Christmases and enough Christmas cd’s to keep the party going for the entire weekend and beyond. I wouldn’t mind but we already have three big boxes of his CD’s at home, most of which are Christmas songs and carols. I guess to John that the rule still applies ‘You can never have enough’ .

He decided that Mariah Carey should accompany us home and she and John sang ‘All I want for Christmas is you’ for the twenty five minutes it took us to get there, via Sainsbury’s for sweets and for John to remind all the shoppers that it is only “THIRTHEE SEEPS YES OK!”
I think Sainsbury’s staff and their customers appreciated John’s reminders but I couldn’t swear to it.

John is very theatrical when he sings and so when he and Mariah sang the line ‘All I want for Christmas is you’ he poked me in the ribs to emphasise the word ‘You’. Thanks for that John.

I had put our tree up a couple of weeks ago and John is always excited when he sees it for the first time. He stood outside, looking in through the window his eyes as big as saucers. He pressed his nose up to the glass, tapped on the window, stood back, slapped his head, pointed and announced to the whole avenue “Johnelmo Chrimmas twee YES OK!”

I knew that John would be beyond excited as Christmas day was almost within sight, and I wasn’t wrong. “Johnelmo godsend moron, smelly shops?” he asked at 4.45 a.m. on Saturday morning as he lay at the end of my bed licking my feet to wake me up.
I don’t know if you have ever been woken by having your feet licked but its a very strange sensation which your brain finds hard to compute whilst its in sleep mode.

I clicked on the bedside lamp which in turn activated my ears and I could hear John giggling and slurping.
“Eiw gerrofff John, eiw stop it.” I yelled wriggling around to try and release my soggy feet.
“Godsend moron, smelly shops?” he asked again needing confirmation that I would take him to the garden centre near Moreton and then to the charity shops.
“Yes, yes we will go at 11.00 o’clock, now get off my legs and go back to bed, please John”

At the garden centre John was trying to persuade me to buy a Christmas wreath by getting me in a headlock and whispering. Actually he was spitting down my ear, he can’t whisper as he finds it too funny, I try not to cringe as the goo drips down my neck.

“Weeth, mummy door” spat John as he pointed at all the beautiful wreaths on display.
“We have already got one John, Nanny made it years ago”
“Two weeth peas Mummy, dah” he replied releasing his grip on my neck and bounding over to the prickly holly wreaths, pointing at them and then again at a huge sparkly golden star. We haven’t had a star on the tree for years but he was adamant.
“Dah” he said again “Crimmas tree, dah”
“Its too big John and too heavy, the Christmas tree will topple over, and we really don’t need another wreath.”

John walked over to me and put his forehead against mine, looked at me with his huge brown eyes and begged “Peeeeeas mummy, dah peeeeeas” and then fluttered his eyelashes so that they tickled my face. I love his butterfly kisses as we call them and they always do the trick. My heart burst with love and as spit trickled down my neck, I thought how much I love my gorgeous, funny boy. Of course he could have the huge star, surely only the coldest of hearts would refuse.
With John holding the star aloft, we wandered around the rest of the garden centre like a two man nativity play.
“DAH” shouted John “DAH” while  I followed behind without a donkey, a husband or three wise men.

For the entire weekend John needed confirmation every five minutes that I knew how many sleeps it was until Christmas day, cheers John. By midday on Sunday I was suffering from lockjaw from all the teeth gritting I was having to do to prevent myself screeching “Oh for gods sake John! I have told you ten thousand times its twelve sleeps” Instead I laughed manically, gritted the aforementioned teeth and said “Yes it’s only twelve sleeps Johnny boy”
“OLY EHEV SEEPS MUM OK YES!” bellowed John horrified that I had made a mistake and might not realise how many sleeps it actually was and concerned that he might not get his presents on the right day.
“Oops sorry John, my mistake, you are right its only eleven more sleeps”
“Oops no Mummy ok” he replied, letting me know I needed to concentrate more and that mistakes at this time of year are just not acceptable. He then leaned in very close and offered me his cheek to kiss, which I did with extra smooching noises which he loves.
Clearly all was forgiven and I was back in his good books.

We put the star on the tree on Sunday afternoon, I was right, it was way to big and much to heavy. I tried in vain to tie it on, stick it on and at one point considered welding the bloody thing on….ok that’s a lie, I know it would have been too dangerous to weld it on because I haven’t got a welders mask!
John helped by jumping up and down, slapping his head and nearly knocking me off my wobbly chair. Finally, somehow, I managed to get the star to stay in place. We both stood back as I turned the fairy lights on and watched with much groaning from  me, and much clapping from John as the weight of the star caused the tree to start bending very slowly.
I think its safe to say that we are probably the only family in Meols to have a Christmas tree shaped like a banana.

Merry Christmas xx


8 thoughts on “How Many Sleeps To Christmas?

  1. An very inspiring post. Hoping you and John have a really great Christmas. The wonderful people I volunteer my time with at Heswall Centre are equally excited and counting the sleeps. Have fun and a very Happy time x

    • Thank you for your kind comments Catherine, and I hope that you and your loved ones have a wonderful Chrustmas too. I can imagine that the atmosphere at the Heswall Centre is very festive, I hope the guys and girls have lots of fun x

  2. Eleven sleeps ! I am way behind -tell John not to put me in a panic!
    No it is only 8 sleeps now-this is catching!
    I loved it Julie as usual- my best belly laugh and I need them as it’s only 8 sleeps and my tree is not done , the house needs a clean -shortbread etc still to make and lots of shelves still need emptying at the Supermarket.
    Probably I need some ‘buttterfly kisses’ that should do it !

    • Hahaha you do make me laugh Margaret, I am sure John will be only happy to give you butterfly kisses in exchange for half an hour watching your washing machine and eating your scrummy cakes xxxx

  3. As usual julie you gave me a laugh with yours and johns antics .always look forward to them .have a wonderful Christmas together .love to you both xxx

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